It's been way too long.. but I figured that I have to start writing because I refuse to confide in people. cause people suck. and I cant seem to handle my emotions. what is this horrible excuse that is life? Well anyway, its my birthday on tuesday and I hate birthdays. I learnt to hate it for awhile but this year. Wow. This year. I get to turn 21. When my other friends are throwing parties and getting extravagant gifts I get to standby and watch while my life gets packed up and carted away. I cant believe it! Wow Yay Whoopee my parents gave me no family and no house. Try topping that guys!
I am miserable. and I'm drinking. I know its so melodramatic and over the top and lame and fucking whatever whatever, but Im so sad.
Alcohol doesnt even taste like alcohol anymore. whatever. I feel so sorry. so sorry that my mum and brother has to go through this. I feel like they are leaving me. I feel like they are leaving me to suffer with my father. Even though I know they are suffering too so I cant say anything.
I wish things were different and I could go with them cause I will miss them.I wish my birthday never had to come. I wish the days will stop so I never get to witness them moving out and leaving me behind. ,.,.